Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
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Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
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My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
im shaving my vagina and listening to frank sinatra, im coming over after
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
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