i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I don't know how I managed to chip the inside of my tooth w/ a turkey and cheeto sandwich, but I think that's what happened.
I'm sorry, a turkey and WHAT sandwich?!?!
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