How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
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