i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
You asked the waitress for a vasectomy and handed her a butter knife, like you were ordering something from the menu
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
