I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
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