sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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