No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize
