he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
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For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
i think im in europe. pls send help
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