imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
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