I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
I don't know. I just have an affinity for nudity when I'm drunk.
How the hell am I supposed to tell that to a group of eight year olds?! It was three in the afternoon for fucks sake!
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
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