ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
Church boner. Awkwardddd
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
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