Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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