it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
C'mon pople!!! THursday afternoon isnot gonna drinkin itself!!!
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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