...she's taking her top off and singing songs from Anastasia. I swear to God were solumates.
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
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If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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