You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
maybe if I avoid him long enough we could skip the talking part of "we need to talk"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
