he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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