Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Randomize
