she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I asked him how his night was and he sent me a picture of a bottle of Ciroc with a bendy straw...
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
His dad gives me dirty looks whenever I come over though. I think it's because I eat his food and have sex with his son.
Evidently I placed three booty calls at the same time...it was an ugly scene. I'm never getting that high again.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
