so apparently telling her she could shit easier and therefore lose weight faster wasn't the best arguement for getting anal.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
