So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
