WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Bullets don't scare me. I wish I was a coyote
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
You have no concept of how high I am, do you?
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
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