Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
