Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
It's no shave November. This is our time.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Randomize
