so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
