the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
You did a jig for the bouncer when you saw him. Just reminding you.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
Randomize
