I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
Randomize
