i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Randomize