Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
Randomize
