I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
She woke up, mumbled "the trees" When i asked her what about them, she yelled "WE NEED THEM FOR OXYGEN," Then went back to sleep.
We need to get on her level.
Randomize
