I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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