Just fell off a train. Bad.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
It was confusing and full of hummus
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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