i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
Randomize
