apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
he pissed his pants, and she still wants to hook me up with him. I try not to date guys with bladder control problems... Unless they're loaded anyway.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
We just shotgunned beers for America
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
