Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
I'm standing in line at the liquor store and they're making popcorn.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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