I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
Dude, I'm not going to use a butt plug.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize
