i'm signing you up for texting rehab
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
Randomize
