tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
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i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
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I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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