if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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