Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Randomize
