we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
Randomize
