yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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