I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
nutella sex= disaster
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
