I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
