You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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