I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
