just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Sexting and pancakes... It's going to be hard to top that
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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