You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
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He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
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I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
You were sitting in a chair and you said "I just feel like a little fishy, floooooating through the ocean, so pretty"
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I still have that dildo-suction bruise on my forehead and this sweater STILL smells like my Christmas Eve vomit.
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