Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
