My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
