is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
You started throwing frozen shot glasses at people and you kept saying "it's fine, they melt."
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I come into the house and he's fucking doing karaoke by himself... Lady gaga
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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