i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
