The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just had sex on a roof
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
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