why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I always "accidentally" drop a condom and make sure she sees it's a magnum. By the time I'm inside her and she realizes how small I am, it's all over in a flash and I'm done. Plus, they never call back so I never have to see the girl ever again. #gratefulforprematuretinypenis
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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