i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
Randomize
