Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
Randomize
