Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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