Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
Randomize
