Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Porn is love you can see.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Randomize
