Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
