Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
I KNOW you don't honestly think you can pay me back in lotto tickets.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize