I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
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I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
This beer is not sobering me up at all
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
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