omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Randomize
