i don't like sucking hair
it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
Randomize
