I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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