I am pretty sure the guy in the stall two dwn from me is jerking it...seriously
I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize