my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
She puked her nose ring out of her face.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Just spent 10 minutes washing away my own puke. This gas station lady loves me.
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