i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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