we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
