i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
And I don't know what it is about weed making me want every episode of the real housewives of everywhere
i think i need to institute a "if your dick has been in my mouth this year i get a xmas present" policy
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
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