Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
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You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
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Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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